Dogalpon is the company behind the Dogalpon 5000 Sewing Machine. "That's Turtle Fast!" is their advertising slogan. They are a machine that is capable of making fur coats out of bear fur and other animal skins.
- Niner mentions it in one of the playthrough episodes. It sponsored the The Return of Janet montage and a Dogalpon advertisement is shown in the video at 9:17.
- Each machine is hand crafted by a mole-rat grown on the Dogalpon farms in Arkansas.
- Each Dogalpon 5000 machine has a sewing speed of 28 RPMs. The slogan "That's Turtle Fast!" originates from this fact.
- In an alternate reality Dogalpon exists as a line of video-gaming devices for company "Tummy Sausage"
- Dogalpon's only marketed feature is creating jackets (Limited to only being made from Bear furs) at uber-slow paces.
- Dogalpon's can sometimes be found in a few fan made alchestbreach mods