"How should I-"
Captain Ballarms is a protectron and is currently a regular companion in Fallout New Vegas for Al. He originally came from the D.E.I.M.O.S mod made by AlexanderJVelicky, author of the extremely successful Skyrim mod "Falskaar."
Captain James Ballarms first appeared in Fallout New Vegas Mods: DEIMOS - Part 2, originally nameless. As Al had no companions at the time, he named a maintenance robot and proceeded onwards with the mod. A fan of AlChestBreach's videos eventually made a companion based off of him and he joined the team on a permanent basis. In Fallout New Vegas Mods: Sixer of Psiclones and Mini-Rockets! - Part 1. Al frequently berates and blames Ballarms for anything that goes wrong.
In the montage The Return of Janet, he is sent back in time with Al and Janet's baby after infiltrating the Business Radroach base. Ballarms did not appear in Al's videos from Feburary 22, 2013 until November 17, 2014.
Ballarms finally makes a return in Fallout New Vegas Mods: The Return of Ballarms!, in which it appears as though he is living a normal life in a vault filled with others robots like him. This is revealed to be a simulation set up by the Radios and that Ballarms had lost his memory of most things. He does retain memories of Al however and uses these memories to raise the baby given to him. The radios, however, want Ballarms to join their side and try to persuade Ballarms into thinking that Al does not care about him or his well being.
They send him into one final simulation, this time as a police officer. He goes on the hunt of the serial killer Balls and meets a simulated version of Al. Even though he was commanded to kill Al, he hugs him instead and is then able to escape the simulation. The radios then wish to kill Ballarms for his defiance. Just as they are about to execute him, Al's son, the one Ballarms was raising, kills the radios and rescues Ballarms. The two then escape the building and head for Al's house.
They arrive there safely and are welcomed by Al, who is happy to meet his son and be reunited with Ballarms.
- He is apparently a U.S. army captain.
- There is an easter egg dedicated to him in The Inheritance - Part 4.
- A newer version of the Captain Ballarms exists that Al does not use.
- Captain Ballarms hates communists and regularly makes comments to this effect.
- Ballarms is the companion most frequently blamed for knocking objects over at Al. Ironically, Ballarms interceded between Cuddles and Al when the latter got angry at the former for doing just that.
- Mister Cuddlesworth and Jerry McGhoulBerry hate Captain Ballarms, perhaps because he forgot their birthday and got them a lame present. They periodically gang up on him without provocation.
- Ballarms occasionally bumps into walls and other objects, causing quite a racket. Al frequently yells at him for this, but he shows no intention of stopping.
- Ballarms appears in Al's Fallout 3 mod reviews due to Al getting the crew sucked into the past because he touched Frumpkins.
- He is married to Mrs. Ballarms.
- Ballarms occasionally tires of Al's constant insults and will attempt to kill him when he is vulnerable.
- He has a German cousin named Ball² who has appeared in three of Al's videos. Al doesn't like it when he shows up.
- Ballarms likes to hug people, especially Al, from behind.
- He is just one kid, shoved into the cranium according to Al in the Fallout New Vegas Mods: Gus Has Gas - Fourfer.
- During The Return of Janet he was sent back in time with Al's baby, but Al forgot to tell him where to meet up.
- He also occasionally eats oil.
- During Al's latest montage, "A Rescue In Time" it is revealed that Ballarms is out to kill Al for revenge. He does so by raising an army.
- Captain Ballarms appears on the current background of Al's channel.
- Al accidentally tackled Ballarms in his modded playthrough. He apologized by giving Ballarms a full-on hug.
- Since his departure back in time, Ballarms' name appears on Al's Pip-Boy map in Hidden Valley, the Brotherhood of Steel's base. This is similar to when Janet was gone, as her name would frequently appear as well.
- According to the end credits of the FNV Modded Playthrough Ballarms returns months after his disappearance. Ballarms had apparently been wandering around the waste, "giving hugs, and more hugs."
- Ballarms was brought up in Fallout New Vegas Mods: Nipton Rebuilt - Part 2. Al quickly got emotional, suggesting he still misses Ballarms.
- It was revealed in Meyla - Easter Egg that Ballarms had raised Al's son to adulthood, only to become an evil genius and use Ballarms to create an unknown weapon. This information was transmitted to Al by a future protectron model, B.A.L.L.A.R.M.S. ver8, who Al supposedly destroyed with a 105mm AC-130 cannon, likely because he saw the robot as an abomination. It's is unknown if the information given to Al was legitimate.
- For a while, It seemed Al completely forgotten about him, due to the fact that he responded with "Who?" when asked if he would like find Ballarms in A Fallout Halloween - Ghoul Cop!.
- He makes a cameo in Channel Update - Four Year Anniversary! for about one second at around the 50 second mark, possibly hinting at his return.
- Theres a fan-theory that Not Ballarms might be Jerry or at least Ballarms cousin.
- The events of The Return of Ballarms contradict those hinted at during the end of A Rescue in Time. There are four possible explanations to this. A.) Al and Co's later adventures in time lead to an alternate future, B.) The Megaton Army was merely a simulation Ballarms escaped, C.) The Army aided Ballarms and was wiped out during his journies through the wastes as the Radios described or (the most likely) D.) Al doesn't give a shit about continuity.